Monday, February 20, 2012 9:01 PM
I think I am a selfish bastard. Or should I say I am not selfless? I was too engrossed with my ORD clearance today that it didnt come across my mind that my best friend Kenny Goh is undergoing an operation today. What kind of friend I am seriously.
When his picture was tagged on facebook, I was reminded of it only at that instant. I felt so guilty and heartless then. Questions like what kind of friend am I, sitting here at home after camp doing? I just skype to him to ask his about the process.
I hate myself. Usually I would drop him a message towish him the very best etc. And today I was just disappointed with myself! =(
To Kenny, if u happen to see this, I just wanna say so SORRY for this unacceptable action from one of your close friend. I think I am too heartless and cruel to a good friend. I am sincerely very sorry for not able to be there when u open your eyes after your surgery. =(
I wish you a speedy recovery and rest really well during these months at home. I will visit you asap for sure!
GET WELL SOON!Labels: Disappointed with myself
Sunday, February 19, 2012 12:03 AM
I yearn to be selfish. I yearn to be self centred. Being someone who cares about himself is so much better than giving in and doesn't have anything in return at all. I am just too tired. Its so unfair. I don't feel the friendship.
I was chatting with one of my friends. We came across a friend who regrettably got posted out due to some unforeseen circumstances. We almost cut contact. No more plans on going out for a meal, a meet up to catch up or even activities.
I am not blaming him entirely. Just a little piss with him. I have a part to play as well. But accepting the reason for the wild guess of us ostracising him is totally not palatable. I mean come on, we are a batch. No matter how much we have disagrrements on each other, we are still a team. Come on.
I am very loyal to my friends around. I will always classify my friends into different groups. He is definitely the person who belongs to someone I will wanna carry on contacting. I guess i need to transfer him out soon.
Friendship holds an important, or rather very important role, to my life. Its a pillar of support. I can survive without a relationship but I can't survive without friendship. I guess that says it all(why i am piss off with him not treating me like a friend).
To those friends out there, thanks for everything that u have done to me. I am not good at expressing my words, but u will be remembered as long as I can! Thanks a million! 
Labels: Friendship
Sunday, February 12, 2012 9:31 PM
What do you understand by the word complicated? Does relationship strucks you? Or is it the the people around you are too two-headed? Or does it comprises of many different things. Sigh, its just too complicated.
I am currently being pestered by a situation that I hate it a lot. I wanna flick it away from my hand but to no avail. Its in fact haunting me that I am a little traumatised by it.
I don't think its my fault. I am just being myself all these while. Why must there be a case that finger is pointing at me?
Is it wrong to be myself? I have made some cautious effort to change to suit the environment and the situation. If I can't, it simply means that I am not meant to be able to do it.
No patients, rushing and pesistent pushing is just too annonying. Its just too much of a pressure for me to handle. I rather be gradual.
Right now, I feel sucky cos it seems like I am the devil. Many a times when something happens, 90% of the time I am deemed the devil. I seriously beg to differ.
Enlighten me, what on earth is fairness. I need a libra's advise, like NOW!!
I need time. I really need time. I am very sure that I need a good 2 to 3 days to overcome this. Its just another nonsensical experience.
I should do something to distract myself.....
Labels: Complicated
Saturday, February 4, 2012 12:54 PM
30 days. From 730 days to just 30 days. This duration of 2 years seem so fast but on the other hand, it has been pretty slow when I think twice. There have been ups and downs that is experienced which I will share it on a later date.Its just 30 more days and I will have to move on to the next phase of life. This phase has been a dream that I have always wanted to experience, which is life in uni. However, there have been many worries and uncertainty that has been bothering me all these while. Before that, I have a good 5 months of free time. I am gonna work and go for a holiday! I am still in the process of looking for a job. Wish me luck. In 2012, I have an aim, which is to go to HONG KONG! My family has been procrastinating to go to this country. Probably its the high cost! Haha..Alright, I shall finish up the last 30 days in camp. Hope to enjoy these last few days and freedom will be approaching me haha. Till then....Labels: ORD soon
12:37 PM
Greetings to all once again. Feeling body aches over some parts of my body as i had an 'intensive' physical activity yesterday morning. Guess I haven't been moving much lately, hence the muscle aches.Last night, I was pretty much affected by the fact that my mum abruptly feeling dizzy. It was very very sudden. She was eating dinner with me and talking normally like how she did always. After her meal, she will do her usual chore by washing the plates. Once she stood up from the chair, she felt that the whole world was turning around non-stop. I remember she has it a few times before. But this time round, it was more severe. She didn't feel that well for the 1 good hour. I was really really worried then and I can't do anything. I kept asking her why didnt she took good care of herself. It was a frantic moment.Helped her to apply medicated oil. She felt worse when she tried to lie down. Honestly, I have experienced this before but it wasnt that serious. Just need more rest and a panadol.I was just very worried. I just can't express it by words. I am glad that she is fine now......Labels: Mum
