I m in @ rOlleR CoAsTer

Monday, July 7, 2008 8:35 PM

Hello guys.. Thanks for your tags and concern! I really appreciate =).. Especially HuiYing and of course my mates! Love u all lots!

Ok, as requested by Huiying, yokehung, yongxin+ Jolene and Joycelyn who dun know what my previous post is talking about, perhaps this one will allow u to have a better idea.. Haha..

Hmm, ok ppl, u have to get ready cos this post might let u see the other side of STAN but on the other hand know more about who STAN is.. But he always carry his old self with him throughout! Ok let's start!

One beautiful Saturday which falls on 5th of July 08, STAN took the plunge to go for his gathering with his mates. This would probably be the last one before we head to different kinds of life..(exlude Bday celebration).. So went to Rups house first before heading to meet up.. Supposedly I wanted Kenny(buddy) to help me trim my hair. But due to his late coming, i skipped it.. Me and Rups were so worried that he will MISS THIS GATHERING! But luckily he didn't and meet up reach there at 1.20pm(ard there) where we r suppose to meet at 12nn.. =(

(I want to say- RUPS-LOOKS VERY BEAUTIFUL, ME- DARING+Not too bad, KENNY-FOREVER GOOD SENSE OF DRESSING*)

Cabbed to Marina Square and met up with JAS! OK the dress code that day is FASHION(Versatile+Daring).. Jas looks quite preety that day with her heels on.. And we headed to ____ before STARBUCKS! My all time favourite chilling out place!

Kat and ZhiWei joined while we were chatting.. OMG she really look gorgeous that day! Then talked for like 1 hour? Headed to ___ again and i am like -.-.. Ok Nevermind..

So started to walk around, KAT bought her stuff from body shop and Rups bought her BAG from a shop.. And till then the time was already 4+ 5pm.. Its like so DAMN Fast la.. Regreattable, ZhiWei and Kat had to go.. *If she were to stay..........*

Went to look for some clothings and i bought it! Finally after much hesitation, i bought it and i love it! =)

Next, 3rd round.. Then its time to ________!! Guess? Aiya lame.. Of course photo taking time! Ok enjoy then..

Really want to thank VJ aka BABY PAO for his spleddid photography skills! Credits to VJ! Love some of the pictures! Thanks Rups for the photoshop and thank myself for adding the html.. =)

Time pass so quickly and our stomachs started to call for help.. Our eyes were on the nearby restaurant.. BILLY BOMBERS! I know its EX but once in a blue moon is fine! So ya.. Headed in without hesitation!

WHAT A BI_C_! I know i have BUNNY teeth, but that doesn't mean that I am a rabbit!Sigh, STAN is so sad.. He wants to do braces! Thats for sure!

4th round! Then u know what! The National Day sons were played and i could here it so clearly.. Yeah, its so beautiful! It reminds me of Primary 5 and Sec 2 when i went for NDP! Nice! Lots of people were waiting for the FIREWORKS! I LOVE FIREWORKS!

The best fireworks picture in my folder! Is it nice? Let me tell u, the feeling is so GOOD! With my mates there enjoying the nice view! I remember on 1st Jan 2008, IAN, REZA and JiaMING! I will remember that day when we countdown!

After which, sat at that original seat(phototaking) when people start to go.. Had a heart to heart talk session!(EVERYTHING STARTS HERE!) The nature of this group, the X feeling that i get from them, I really can't descibe.. Its like 5 years ago, we are stangers. 5 Years later, we are best mates! Some pictures to share!

Lots to share.. Talked about how my BRO treated me from young.. How we talk to each other again after a cold war etc.. My terrible 17 Birthday last year! Gosh! ="( [ And Rups came back from the toilet, everything starts! She told us everything about her grandpa! 45 mins talk from her made her CRY like SIAO and made the temperamental STAN to tear too.. She has been telling me all about her grandpa since like Early January? Till now, every single little things she told me i will definitely remember! I cannot belief the strong power from her words made me lost control! Seeing and hearing from her that her grandpa changed drastically, and by picturing his old grandpa last yr, the difference is ----.. Then, i really wish to be by her side, helping her to get over it when she said" I know he will leave this year, but i just want him to go peacefully! But i really dunno how to face it when he leaves"! ='(

I chose to be by her side.. I want to accompany her to the very max! Cos i know she needs a friend to console her! The time is 11pm, my stuffs were still lying at Rups house, so me Kenny(who suggested to acc her) and Rups cab back home! Jas and VJ bid farewell! Hmm, hair cutting starts when i reach Rups house! Just trim! Ya, then bath and i got into her cosy little room.. Her Dad welcome us with LOTS OF LOVE! Her dad is SO DAMN good! Then after the 3 of us shower, ate MAC and chatted again! I am glad that she is fine then.. I sent a sms, lots of negative sms were received! I know i have to bare the consequences!However, i chose not to think about it! But knowing the fact that i am an unfilial son! Talked in the room till like 3-4am? before i made myself to that cosy ADDICTIVE bed!

Woke up at 10.30am and called my mum to ensure my safety! "As u wish, I dunno...."(ytd post).. U know how hurting it was to hear that? I know i am going to get it today(6-7-08).. Confirm! I was so devastated then! But then i still cover up!

Both Rups and I had a hard time waking Kenny up.. Procratination is the word.. He woke up at 12.40pm when he instructed us to wake him up at 10.30am! I was like---! NS=sure die! Then had porridge by her MODERN mum =)

Fix the modem for her and i received a call from BRO! "Now i know no matter what he is still forever my bro who cares for me but chose to do it behind' THANKS BRO! At 3+, i really had to go! When i heard that my room's door was lock, A FEAR IN ME INHERITED MY HEART! I know i am facing it real soon!

2 BESTMATES sent me off, giving me their best support! The FOCUS IS ON ME NOW and not RUPS! I just can't believe it! Taxi came, I GAVE BOTH OF THEM A WARM HUG, showing my best care+concern to them! I bored the cab with a FCUKING down heart! {AGAIN/AGAIN, i cannot control it}

On the cab, i just had an unusual feeling that my DAD will do something even more than locking that door! After alighting the familiar lift, what i could see was a LONG BLACK LOCK that tied round my house gate! THE FEAR, THE DEVASTATION, THE HOSTILITY FROM THEM! I FELT RESTRICTED! Am I in a JAIL? I asked myself and sat on the staircase, calling me 2 bestmate before calling my BRO! He told me to go down to look for him for that KEY!

"Dun come back, dun look for me, live at ur friend's house.. Call her to support u, if u dun wanna study then dropout! Dun call me to go for Meet the parents session etc!"

That point of time i didn't even really retorted! Its my fault! BUT the words was REALLY REALY hurting to me when i was like their favourite son! I dare to say that! But they did not LOCK my bro and do all these nonsense! And hello What did i do wrong.. Tell me la, i killed someone? I told him, "So what do u want from me then.. So r u giving me the key?" He handed with reluctance and i snatch it! I was Fcuking devasated!

Once open the door, broke down again. The family love-GONE.. My dream in wanting to excel and treat my parents nicely-GONE, My everything-GONE! I really can't believe this will happen! It got worse till the extent that i got to think of staying at JC friend's house!

I cried till i got numb.. (CRY BABY STAN cry agaiN! He is temperamental)Let me tell u, STAN is definitely a HOMELY guy! And he experienced something that is not supposed to be faced by him! What kind of logic is this! Tell me! TELL ME! The way they say things just made me feel like i am A SUPER UNFILIAL SON, A PERSON WHO ALWAYS DO BAD STUFFS, A PERSON WHO IS NOT PHYSICALLY/EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THE FAMILY(whom he is not)! I really hope it is just a DREAM!

I wonder, why dun they understand how i feel! Why dun they stand at my point of view! Why are they so stubborn and traditional that staying at ppl's house=NO GOOD/DISTURBING! My mum knows about it BUT chose to gave me a COLD SHOULDER when i said sorry to her! What the! What is this?

I dun wish to elaborate more.. Now i know my family is so sensitive! Always control over what i do! Hey I am like 18 this year, can't they be relax on me? And i did say my existence! If i were rebellious, i couldn't even bother to sms la... Sigh.. Today went STARBUCKS ALONE to do my MATHS! I know how to solve it! YEAH!(FACT=AVoid father!)

Unfortunately he is still at home.. " In future if u r going to stay at ppl place again, u r going to get it from us again!" I ignored him.. BUT HE IS FORCING ME TO BE REBELLIOUS!

Here I am blogging at my room again which he locked! I open the door with the key placed on his desk! I am going to duplicate 1 more in case... If he lock that gate again! Then fine, I will make sure U ALL REGRET!!!! I WILL HAVE MY WAY!

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Actually STAN loves his parents a lot! But due to MISCOMMUNICATION it turned out to be a really bad ending.. The VENGENCE IN ME kept moving in my mind! BUT! He will try to change it back to normal asap! Yeah.. Ppl(1S30), I hope u understand what i write and thanks for the patience! What a long post! STAN still hope to be your friend! Others+S30- Thanks for viewing the ugly STAN currently! He promise to change back to his normal self! He will try!

Someone said this to me: " Oh Stan come on, it is in your blood, Wahahahahaha"

Labels: An unecessary and redundant experience