Tuesday, September 25, 2007 3:44 PM
Total disappontment for me.. What shall i do next? As u know, Stanley sets high targets and achieve his goals often.... This time round, without surprise, he aim high... JC, JC, JC, always the 2 letters JC... Thinking that he have the quality to get there, he was not qualified... U know y? Its as simple as ABC...
"Wa, 20/20", "Waa Chemistry top student" "Science-A1, Accounts A1, Maths A2," Its indeed very very soothing to hear all these words.. Having put in so much effort on these subjects, i really felt elated to get those As... But currently, whats there to be proud of? Its something like everyone is finding diamonds in an open field, so big.. Chances of getting 1 is very little.. After tough exploring, i found 1.. They looked at me with eyes filled with jealousy bcos they couldn't get it.. I have the diamond, but bcos I did not hold it properly, it dropped to the drain and never will it return... I noe I could have hold it tightly till the extend that it will not drop, but it did not do so... I knew i have enough strength to do so, but i didn't... Others who got it, brought back home successfully... When its time for me to regret, its too late for me to think back and hold it tightly...
I knew i could clean it off, i knew it could be amended.. Nothing is done... "Oh, from today onwards i will read a compo everyday, i will aim an A for English" Its a really stupid and that is rubbish... Regrettably, i failed to do so... I was lying, i just wanted to say for the sake of saying.. As the saying goes, action speaks louder than words.. Seriously, i m in a dilemma right now...
With that 1 month time, the REAL THING starts.. Right here i m being complacent, thinking i will do VERY VERY WELL.. "Oh, i wanna go to 3 months JC course!" So proud of myself... Yes, i can! I can!
The word 'CAN'.. Everyone opens their mouth and the word spout out easily.. What had i done seriously? I m not sure...
I knew i couldn't meet my target right now.. But bcos of my innate trait, i will not give up.. Even there's still a small hope, i will fight for it.. Ok, i shall not beat around the bush... U all should know i m referring to.. Ya, its my Prelim results... Yes, i m very happy with my Chemistry results, but not my Physics... I knew i can do better, but i m not.. Being complacent"Aiya, can 1 la" Luckily it was my Chemistry that was doing extrememly well that pulls up my Sc(Phy/Chem) to an A1.. If not i think it will be an A2...
Y will i wanna type 'A'? Come on, its redundant... I fail my English... I m over confident... Seriously.. I thought my Compo was well done, i thought my paper 2 was good enough, i thought oral will pull my marks up, so no worries.... Now i know that reality will not be always be what u thought...
I got a D7 for Prelims... I felt so terrible.. My heart was breaking into pieces... Once fail, there goes your JC... Not even Business for Poly... Ovation to myself.. Nice one, all hopes, all dreams will be VANISHED in the air... Whewww...
I had learnt to be more open minded... I had learnt that if it wasn't yours, it will not be urs.. I had learnt not to take things for granted but take it seriously.. I was defeated....